I am a big girl now, mother…

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Hello readers! Finally,I am out with a poem I had been wanting to compose for a really long time, but was never really satisfied with the result until now.This piece of poetry revolves around the relationship of a mother-daughter duo and how they find their strength to face the cruel, male dominated world. I know, it’s pretty long (well actually, the longest I’ve ever written), excuse me, for that, but knowing I am writing this, it is justified, right?

I hope you enjoy reading the poem as much as I enjoyed writing it! Here it goes…

I am a big girl now, mother…

I remember the first time, the day, a man eyed me hungrily,

You said breathe, look away, walk faster and move on steadily,

I had been a child of five, ready, eager to explore and create,

You said by the time, I turned into a ‘big girl’, I should wait,

Wait for the viciousness and hunger to completely clear away,

And keep my beauty, my identity hidden under a veil till that day.

I grew up believing those stares were a route to that time,

I did what you taught me and kept hiding from the crime.

I was smiling and laughing at my tenth birthday party that night,

Forgotten were the horrors of the past in the present ,so bright,

Suddenly a hand groped me from behind, despite my protests,

Mom, he was one among the long list of civilized guests,

 Hurt, angry I came running to you, out of shock, out of fear,

You laughed it off as a mishap and began to wipe my sorrowful tear.

I thought another hurdle was added to that right path,

And once more, I had to hold back and bury my wrath.

Time flew by, and I started  turning into a young lady,

I was shrouded into long, dull clothes to blend with the shady,

Surroundings and protected from the hunters lurking around,

You asked me again to look away and make no sound,

The wolf-whistles started to be engraved in my ears,

But looking away and walking faster helped all through the years.

Surrounded by my trusted people, I spent the early years of my life,

Before I knew it you pushed me to become someone’s ideal wife,

From that day onwards I remember him never asking for my consent,

I don’t think he understands what the word ‘NO’ meant,

The ornaments of my face have given way to red, blotchy scars,

But didn’t this arrangement called marriage raise bars,

Of cruelty and strangling my ideas, thoughts and opinions,

I believed I would never face this, for I am not among the millions.

 After all those years, I am a big girl now mother,

Still waiting for the dawn you promised me mother,

As I lay on the floor stripped naked of my existence,

Even when I followed all your words with persistence.

Lying on the floor surrounded by blood and dirt,

I question myself, what did I ever do to be hurt?

Darkness has started to crowd and envelope my eyes,

Probably this is where I die, after living the promised lies,

In spite of the defeats, I don’t wish to be dead so soon,

Is this ending in disguise a long-awaited blessed boon?

With this moment I wish to fight, till my shackles are cut off,

And I explore the world in the way, the little girl dreamt of.

I see the open window and hope it carries my voice outside,

The voice of a bruised but not broken child, lady and now a bride,

I scream and scream till there is no voice left in my throat,

I raise my voice for me and for millions like me to be afloat,

From the misery and helpless reflections from the mirrors,

And break free once and for all from the ruthless killers.

I truly understand, today what the ‘big girl’ signified,

Months after losing you, my protector, by my side,

You wanted me to find my voice, my strength, my power,

To fight for myself in the face of hardships and not cower,

You made me strong enough to take a staunch stand,

I feel proud and loved at how you never let go off my hand.

I remember reading the diary you left behind for me,

And realizing how many battles you fought for me,

Alone you pushed the man, who dared to raise his eye,

And harboured intentions of making your daughter cry,

The hand that groped me, years ago, was cut off brutally,

You fought all hardships for me always smiling beautifully,

 Till your last day my husband was not spared from your fire,

To always protect me was your heart’s deepest desire.

You protected me till your last gasp of breath,

Till the time I found chivalry in the face of death.

Nothing can bruise, taint and shatter me to pieces now,

I have tolerated enough abuse and humiliation, I avow,

My soul breathes the bravery lingered by you, my dear,

From the courage you taught me by giving in, to fear.

I have turned into the big girl now mother,

Who will not tolerate injustice another,

I have turned into the big girl you were mother,

Ready to face the world, your big girl mother…

Bhagyashree 31.7.19

A big shout-out to all the ‘big girls’ out there and a bigger shout out to their mothers for making them who there are today. #gogirlpower

Don’t you think it’s cruel that the innocent little girls become their courageous big counterparts only after losing everything? How I wish, life had been a bit merciful by providing another alternative…

Let me know in the comments section what you thought about the poem. If you liked my piece don’t forget to like, comment, reblog and follow my blog.

Until the next time.

Cheers!

Shall I Stay or Shall I Go – To Lands Unknown?

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Heelllloooo people! What’s up? Have you ever wondered what happens when two poets with different ideologies, two distinct writing styles, varying world views,different nationalities, come together and bond over one theme to write a poem? The result is intellectual (I mean hilarious *coughs*) squabbling, rigorous writing, frivolous editing and finally a well- crafted piece which both of them are proud of!

I would have never believed this to be true, had I not experienced it myself while collaborating with Mathew (Blog of the Wolf Boy) over this piece of poetry, depicting the dilemma of a young boy on the brink of making a life-affirming decision.

Out of a large, water-soaked windowpane,
I heard the horizons calling,
Calling me to a life full of quests,
With winds and hues of joys.
Where my heart won’t rip in pain,
And my soul will dance in spree.

Overjoyed, I turn around to find,
Souvenirs of my life to take along,
On a journey, conquering the world,
And to be away from one,
Which never accepted my body or mind,
To a place where I could truly belong.

But something holds me back,
As my legs walk towards my dream,
Stifling my neck as I try to breathe happiness,
Ghost of a smile etched on my face, glancing,
At a crumpled white sheet against a black,
Backdrop of responsibilities, acting as a seam.

The letter smiles at me, slyly,
Inviting me to a life of dutiful death,
Promising respect, money, power,
And a man worthy of success.
Realizing the cost, my eyes well up idly,
For an unfulfilled life which saps my breath.

~

I think all these things and I wonder
What’s a worse fate to endure?
To be the one who’s tried and failed,
Or feed a life that’s lost its allure?

It seems to me, the remedy,
Is to do that which scares me most,
So, I’ll dry these eyes and pack my bags,
For I’ve more to lose, not far, but close.

I close my eyes and drift off to a warmer place,
Where a gentle breeze plays on my skin,
And foreign melodies permeate open space,
While I dance to the lands I’ve never been.

There’s something sweet about losing yourself,
In unique and distant discoveries.
There may be bitterness in hard farewells,
But I’ll take heart in exotic things of sundry.

I’m awake and aware that life had not begun,
Until this day when I grew brave,
And marched my way into the rising sun,
To find my peace and soul, before my grave.

If fortune favors courage, as they say,
My tomorrow is going to be a brighter day.
Walking down new paths I’ve paved,
Towards a life I’ve not, but only craved.

Bhagyashree and Matthew 23.7.19

I would love to hear your views and thoughts of our collab.

Don’t forget to check his awesome blog and soulful poetry! Trust me, you would definitely fall in love with his writing style and depth of emotions once you read his works.

Of course, if you like our collab, don’t forget to like, comment, share and follow my blog!

Until the next time.

Cheers!

Scars of Peace

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Hello fellows! The feeling of penning down pieces of your heart on paper, is liberating, isn’t it? You feel like you accomplished something great. And if the poem turns out to be as you imagined, the wave of happiness is beyond words and boundaries of expression! When I wrote this poem, I never knew, these words on paper, would turn out to be so beautiful and painful at the same time (I hope its true for everyone, not just me). I have been waiting a long time to share this,with all of you and I felt today is the best moment to do this. I’ll tell you the reason in my next post, soon.So here’s presenting my favorite poem from my collection. Let me know what do you feel about it.

Amidst the clashing of ideas and weapons,

There exist  few fighters struggling, with ribbons,

The men march on the battlefields with sombre, expressions,

The women fight their own battles against, repressions,

Children are the ones, who are left behind,

 Who acquire wisdom during the battles of the sighted blind,

Forced to give up their homes, their happiness,

They fall prey to the difficulties that arise due to the adults’ viciousness,

Daughters try to shield themselves from the wolves lurking around,

Sons try to rebuild their abodes, trying to keep their minds sound,

Even in the tumultuous times, they never lose their innocence,

Content even in grief, cheerfulness reflecting on their countenance,

The hope that glimmers in their souls,

Is worth learning from them, while achieving our goals.

Such is the story of a young little boy,

Who even in the face of dread, was unfazed by this ploy,

It had been a month since, he last saw their faces,

He was optimistic, after the victory, they would be subjected to praises,

His father told him to have a strong mind,

After their success his destiny would be immaculately aligned,

His mother lovingly patted his cheek before leaving,

It would only be a few days until they would be united, he slept, believing,

His friends told him, they would never return back,

Reliving their childhood memories was one thing they would lack…

Still he felt optimistic while bringing together shards of life,

Years later, when he visited the devastated wrecks,

Where there was both pain and love in rife…

Bhagyashree,10.10.18

If you liked my post, don’t forget to like, share, comment and follow my blog!

Cheers!